"After a lot of drink and passive-aggressive conversation, aided in no small part by biased counseling and stupid advice from so-called 'friends,' we have made the precipitous and petulant decision to break up our engagement, management partnership, and most of our furniture. We forget why we ever got involved with each other in the first place, and we ask that everyone respect our publicity and take care to place the blame where it belongs in this time of unparalleled tragedy."