exercises: the pompous bio

Posted on January 8th, 2007 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Comedy.

Greetings, fellow travelers; my name (if you must label me) is Scraps. Don't you despise these potted biographies? How can the complexities of a life be limned in a few short sentences? Do we think we know each other because we know a name, a few pale facts, a clutch of opinions? Still, if you must "sum me up," I suppose you could call me a seeker. Ever since I rejected my childhood in the Amerikan suburbs and divorced my parents, I have boldly sought and happily embraced the new, disdaining the ordinary, the merely conventional, the mundane trivialities with which the "hoi polloi" anesthetize themselves. I have no interest in trends, fashion, or television. A stark winter sky, the cry of a lonely bird in the morning, a few true words in a notebook: these are the things I live for. I am forty-two, trim, a bit weathered but sturdy, and ready for the next stage in this adventure we call Life. I hope you'll come a little way down the road with me.

12 comments.

Kristen Durbin

Comment on January 8th, 2007.

"divorced my parents"?

Scraps

Comment on January 8th, 2007.

I hope you don't think the rest of it is true either!

Kristen

Comment on January 8th, 2007.

:-)

Some, though.

Scraps

Comment on January 8th, 2007.

Well, I am 42 and named Scraps, and I'm not very interested in television.

Kristen

Comment on January 8th, 2007.

I'd give you the "trim, a bit weathered but sturdy" too!

And in a more serious vein, the "seeker" part.

Scraps

Comment on January 8th, 2007.

Ladies and gentlemen, my kind sister!
I would have said "sturdy" till the last few months, when my entire muscle structure decided to start falling apart.

LauraJMixon

Comment on January 8th, 2007.

Sturdy comes and goes, after 40. ;)

Scraps

Comment on January 8th, 2007.

Yeah, but I wasn't prepared for how quickly.

Steven Gould

Comment on January 9th, 2007.

You need to get the new software. iMuscle. Of course you have to have a Mac to run it.

Scraps

Comment on January 9th, 2007.

Oh man, then my heart would stop pumping every time I moved my muscles.

beth meacham

Comment on January 9th, 2007.

Ho, Scraps! and by the way, can you call Nathan about a copyedit job? pleasepleasepleaseplease she begged?

Scraps

Comment on January 9th, 2007.

Yo Beth! It is taken care of. We are set to stet.

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