talking like myself

Posted on October 8th, 2009 by Scraps.
Categories: Boring Posts, Stuff.

Lots of people say I'm talking like my old self. My "style and persona seen just like always," according to a cross-country friend. And thank you. I want to. I think I struggled even from the first to sound like myself; everybody sounds, to me, like him or herself, and I was scared I might lose my voice. Now I think it's buried deep, and my voice -- everybody's voice -- is something you can't reach merely from a stroke.

But: my style and persona is not real, not quite. We read these posts, and we read them in the same time, same pace. But when you talk to me, in real time, you realize that I am damaged; I am ten times slower to get to the point, if I can: sometimes I can't. I slur, stutter, garble. I lose track. The magic thing about writing is, it makes me seem all right.

It makes me feel like there are two Scrapses: one you encounter day by day, the other by writing. And yeah, every writer is two-fold, the writer and the person; but I never felt the difference so starkly.

2 comments.

Debbie Notkin

Comment on October 9th, 2009.

I hear you, my friend. And I care for both Scrapses.

Don Fitch

Comment on October 25th, 2009.

Welcome to The Club, from one who has belonged to it forever (give or take a few years). "The Club", in this case, being the condition of having distinctly different In Person and In Print/On Line personalities. (In person, I've always -- without the excuse of a stroke -- been quiet & so slow-thinking as to rarely contribute anything to a conversation before the topic has changed. In fanzine lettercolumns (and now, OnLine), however, this condition of slow thought processes practically vanishes and (I like to think) other & better qualites come to the fore.) Yes, your presentation might now be much slower than it used to be -- but the important thing is that what you're presenting is still excellent.

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