identity, cracked

Posted on September 4th, 2013 by Scraps.
Categories: Memory, Recovery, Stuff, Words.

Charles R. Pierce, in a scathing piece about the NFL and how it bought out the concussion lawsuit and what it means to the public, as an aside wrote:

(As a writer, I have to admit, there is something darkly compelling about Alzheimer's because it attacks the two things most central to a writer's craft — language and memory, which together make up an individual's identity. Alzheimer's makes a new character out of a familiar person.)

Strokes, also. "Language and memory, which together make up an individual's identity." (Now I'm struggling to say what I need to say.) (Again.) (Well. I'll put it up because it's very true, for me. Maybe eventually I'll find the words to add.)

7 comments.

Gavin

Comment on September 8th, 2013.

Do you feel like a different person after the stroke, or like a different version of the same person? (Is that the right question?)

Scraps

Comment on September 8th, 2013.

I used to feel like a different person. Then I gradually changed to a different version of the same person; probably when I moved from New York to Seattle, I gradually changed.

I pretty much stopped telling people that I felt like a different person (except Velma), because people mostly exclaimed that I felt like the same person to them, and that made me frustrated, though I knew they were trying to help. But now that I feel like the different version of the same person, I'm more calm.

Thank you! for just now working out those thoughts.
____________________

And Gavin, I'm going to watch the first game of the Seahawks season in half an hour: (I hope) the championship season!

Gavin

Comment on September 9th, 2013.

I hope you enjoyed the game! It's going to be a bleak year for the Jets, I suspect (despite that fluke win), but probably an excellent year for the Seahawks.

I think people very much want you to be the same person; it's discomfiting to imagine that you are now a new person. I remember what a great relief it was to me the first time you made a joke that I thought of as distinctly Scrapsian; until then, I suppose I hadn't known whether the person I knew had survived. (After that, I didn't know for sure, but I believed at least fundamental aspects of you were still there.)

(Not that you asked, but thought you might be curious about an outside POV.)

("Scrapsian" is nonstandard English--is that difficult for you now?)

Scraps

Comment on September 9th, 2013.

I only enjoyed the fact that Seattle won; otherwise it was frustrating, especially the very predictable offense, and the worrisome lack of pass rushing. Well, Russell Wilson was very good -- despite the very predictable offense.

I think the Jets are going to be okay. Though I know I feel that way because I despise the New York sports media, so I want the Jets to be okay to spite them. Yes, I now actually root for Rex Ryan because of this.
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I don't know if nonstandard English is harder for me that regular English. I know that I understand what you mean when you say "Scrapsian". (I think I do, anyway.)

I remember that I also made a joke that I considered =me=, and I nearly cried. My peculiar sense of humor is mostly out of my grasp still. It's still here, but foggy. Every once in a while the language works, sharply; then it's amorphous again.

(I am curious, yes; not just an outside POV, but specifically yours: you -- if I may say so -- understood me. And got my humor.

Scraps

Comment on September 9th, 2013.

(Hey, this is my 500th post to my blog!)

Gavin

Comment on September 10th, 2013.

Mazel tov!

I like Ryan a lot: he's funny, he's a defensive genius, and he seems like a Rabelasian figure. I think most of his bluster is strategic, but even if it isn't, it entertains me.

Scraps

Comment on September 10th, 2013.

Rabelasian figure is right on.

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