hey. (hey!)

Posted on December 3rd, 2015 by Scraps.
Categories: Recovery, Stuff.

[I'm going to post -- in fact, I've done it! -- just once for my new blog, Doukipudonktan. If you follow me, I'll see you there.]

→ Hey.

It's been a little more than a year ago since I posted in my blogs. I did occasionally comment in Field Gulls (a very good Seahawks blog), and really occasionally in other places, but mostly I didn't write. Second, writing is really hard now (since my stroke, in 2008; if you don't know about it, if you stick around* it's my largest subject). First, my beloved Velma died of cancer; that would be my supreme subject, but I still mostly can't write about it. { . . . }

Well. In the last month or so, I'm discovering that, even though writing is hard, I want to write about my everyday stuff now. I don't think it's going to be interesting to many people, but Since My Stroke™ I'm forgetting things constantly, and I want to write stuff down for me, even though this is not good writerly stuff anymore.

So. There are many many things to write about in my head; this is an introduction, I guess, from me to me. My last blog, Parlando, I decided was not right for this new tiny thoughts. (I'm probably going to resume posting to Parlando, too, for mostly music thoughts.) This is a new WordPress blog, Doukipudonktan, for everyday things (and also slowly learning again WordPress stuff).

Whew. I'm a little bit tired (again, writing is hard now). This introduction is going to pull several directions if I don't stop. Soooooo....

Post.


* if you don't, it's okay.**

** three "if you"s! wait, four!

 

1 comment.

howl

Posted on November 19th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Badness, Boring Posts, Life, Stuff.

I'm howling. Literally, I just spent fifteen minutes just howling. This is normal now; I just don't talk about it, except maybe I should.

I'm damaged, but Velma stuck with me. She understood me. Now she's gone. I'm alone. Every day, I'm silently in misery; I'm howling, but there's no one to hear, and even if there was, they'd leave (not that I'm mad about leaving; I'm grateful for every minute my friends and family spends with me).

I'm damaged. I'm alone. But mostly, Velma's gone. She's gone. We were going to spend the rest of our lives together, blissfully. We talked about what would happen if one of us died. It was an uncomfortable subject. I said, especially after the stroke, that I wasn't sure I could make it without her. That distressed her, and she always made me promise that I would at least try.

What reason should I live for? I know that eventually the hurt will ebb. But what should I live for?

I'm trying, Velma.

11 comments.

can't let the last post stay up on top

Posted on November 19th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Life, Memory, Recovery, Stuff.

Every time I choke up.

Helen (Velma's sister) called yesterday as the day was approaching the end. She told me that Velma's New York memorial had gone well, and she told me specific things that made me feel good, as much as possible.

Velma, she said, would say it went passably. I laughed. Laughs are [few and far between]*.
__________

*Myles [looking over my shoulder].

1 comment.

happy birthday, velma, somewhere

Posted on November 18th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Life, Memory, Stuff.

I can't believe that you didn't make it to 52.

Grief.

7 comments.

read to velma (incomplete)

Posted on November 18th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Books, Memory, Short Stories, Words.

We read to each other, at first constantly, then sputteringly, and then, with my stroke, it ended. I'm trying to assemble which fictions that I read to her. (For some reason, it's much easier to remember the ones I read to her than the ones Velma read to me.)

So, at random, probably added to later:

Joanna Russ, Picnic on Paradise
→ "Nobody's Home"
→ "My Boat"
Souls
→ "Bodies"
Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds
Flann O'Brien, The Third Policeman
J.G. Ballard, "Billenium"
→ "End-Game"
Algis Budrys, Be Merry
Gene Wolfe, The Eyeflash Miracles
The Death of Doctor Island
Forlesen
→ "Melting"
R.A. Lafferty, "Continued On Next Rock"
→ "Nine Hundred Grandmothers"
→ "Slow Tuesday Night"
→ "Thus We Frustrate Charlemagne"
Avram Davidson, "Take Wooden Indians"
→ "Sacheverell"
→ "The House the Blakeneys Built"
Neal Barrett, Jr, Skinny Annie Blues
→ "Perpetuity Blues"
→ " 'A Day at the Fair' "
Jonathan Carroll, The Land of Laughs
Alasdair Gray, Five Letters from an Eastern Empire
→ "The Great Bear Cult"
→ "Homeward Bound"
Michael Bishop, "The Quickening"
Pamela Dean, The Dubious Hills
M. John Harrison, "Egnaro"
Francesca Lia Block, Weetzie Bat
Greg Egan, "Learning To Be Me"
Kate Wilhelm, "Baby, You Were Great"
Damon Knight, "Semper Fi"
→ "The Handler"
G.K. Chesterton, The Man Who Was Thursday
The Napoleon of Notting Hill
Howard Waldrop, "God's Hooks!"
→ "Horror, We Got"
Leigh Kennedy, "Her Furry Face"
C.M. Kornbluth, "The Last Man Left in the Bar"
→ "The Advent on Channel Twelve"
Jim Thompson, Pop. 1280

7 comments.

screaming hairy armadillo!

Posted on November 4th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Stuff, Words.

No, really.

Okay, it's also called Chaetophractus vellerosus, but it loses something in Latin.

Screaming hairy armadillo. Screaming hairy armadillo. Screaming hairy armadillo. Screaming hairy armadillo. Screaming hairy armadillo.

Screaming hairy armadillo!

1 comment.

sometimes i forget what i write completely

Posted on October 30th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Comedy, Literary Criticism, Memory, Words.

I read various music blogs, some of them on Blogger. Today I was looking up another person's bio, and I realized that I probably had a Blogger bio, because I had a picture - but I hadn't looked at it in ages. Probably before my stroke.

So I looked. And I did have a bio (the same one that I have here); but I also had a aborted blog: Another Thick Square Blog, which is a great name for a blog, and I shouldn't have punted it. And there was one post, dated 10 April 2008:

Always scribble, scribble, scribble, eh, Mr Gibbon? Scribble scribble scribble Mr Gibbon Gibbon Gibbon. Scribblin' gibbon. Can you say that, Mr Gibbon? Eh? Scribblin' scribblin' scribblin' gibblon. It's a bit of a tongue workout, eh, Mr Gibbon? Mr Gibblon gabblin' gobblin' Gibbon. Eh? Eh? You're a good sport Mr Gibbon, I always say. Thanks for the book.

I don't think I took a Blogger blog seriously....

3 comments.

i didn't know that!

Posted on October 27th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Boring Posts, Life, Recovery, Stuff.

Sure, grief is natural and proper, but it's healthier for the survivors to move on.

--a writer who usually says more sensible things

6 comments.

sigh

Posted on September 15th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Albums, Badness, Music, Words.

I dislike album titles that pun upon a person's name. It's very easy, usually, and most of the time it doesn't pun any further. Like most puns, it's child's play. (If you must pun on this entry -- I know that some people take it as a challenge -- please pun in at least two dimensions.)

But Roy Haynes, boy: I hope that the title of his 1992 album, When It's Haynes It Roars, wasn't his idea.

3 comments.

note

Posted on April 11th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Sports, Stuff.

For the last two or three weeks, I plunged into Field Gulls ("The stupidest name in smart football analysis"). It's heady; I didn't know there was a smart Seahawks site, and this one is very smart.

I will be back very soon. I'm not going away.

0 comments.

a quandary of mind

Posted on April 3rd, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Albums, Lists, Music.

I'm slowly getting together a list of the best albums of 1978, and I'm wondering: is it because the year 1978 was incredible, up there with the best years of music, I'm having trouble thinking of a better year, or even thinking of a competition; or is it because I was fourteen?

edit: 1959 is a strong all-jazz year.

1 comment.

two ages

Posted on March 20th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Media, Words.

"Chuck Norris had twins at 61." That thought, published today with a "impressed" veneer, has a little piece of information left out. The piece that shoves it into "who cares" territory.

2 comments.

1988 albums, top ten

Posted on March 7th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Albums, Lists, Music.


1. The Go-Betweens ◊ 16 Lovers Lane
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

2. Man Jumping ◊ World Service
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

3. Cardiacs ◊ A Little Man and a House and the Whole World Window
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

4. Throwing Muses ◊ House Tornado
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

5. Talk Talk ◊ Spirit of Eden
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

6. Mary Margaret O'Hara ◊ Miss America
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

7. The Microscopic Septet ◊ Beauty Based on Science
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

8. Black Future ◊ Eu Sou o Rio
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

9. ゲルニカ [Guernica] ◊ 新世紀への運河 [Shinseiki eno Unga]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

10. Morbid Saint ◊ Spectrum of Death
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

4 comments.

1988 albums, numbers 11-20

Posted on March 7th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Albums, Lists, Music.


11. Don Pullen ◊ New Beginnings
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

12. Roland Alphonso & Mute Beat ◊ R. Alphonso Meets Mute Beat
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

13. Stump ◊ A Fierce Pancake
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

14. Victims Family ◊ Things I Hate to Admit
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

15. Defunkt ◊ In America
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

16. Jack DeJohnette's Special Edition ◊ Audio-Visualscapes
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

17. World Domination Enterprises ◊ Let's Play Domination
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

18. Paul Roland ◊ Happy Families
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

19. Промышленная архитектура [Industrial Architecture] ◊ Любовь и Технология [Love & Technology]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

20. Public Enemy ◊ It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

2 comments.

1988 albums, numbers 21-30

Posted on March 6th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Albums, Lists, Music.


Sonic Youth ◊ Daydream Nation
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Steve Coleman and Five Elements ◊ Sine Die
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Shrubs ◊ Vessels of the Heart
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dagmar Krause ◊ Tank Battles: The Songs of Hanns Eisler
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Gary Thomas and Seventh Quadrant ◊ Code Violations
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Residents ◊ God in Three Persons
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jerry Gonzalez and the Fort Apache Band ◊ Obatalá
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Willem Breuker Kollektief ◊ Bob's Gallery
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Fishbone ◊ Truth and Soul
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Lyle Lovett ◊ Pontiac
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

0 comments.

1988 albums, numbers 31-40

Posted on March 6th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Albums, Lists, Music.


Ray Anderson ◊ Blues Bred in the Bone
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Marilyn Crispell ◊ Labyrinths
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My Dad Is Dead ◊ The Best Defense
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Leaders ◊ Out Here Like This
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Nuno Canavarro ◊ Plux Quba
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Cindytalk ◊ In This World
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Metallica ◊ …And Justice for All
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sheriff Lindo & The Hammer ◊ Ten Dubs That Shook the World
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Test Dept. ◊ Terra Firma
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Universal Congress Of ◊ Prosperous and Qualified
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

0 comments.

comment to ESPN

Posted on March 6th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Media, Sports, Stuff.

You know, Darren Sharper is a loathsome man. Yet, only in America will the likelihood that he will be raped in prison get a laugh. In fact, that joke is so predictable, it's sobering. We should be appalled that everybody assumes that anyone sentenced to prison also means sentenced to be raped.

0 comments.

1988 albums, numbers 41-50

Posted on March 6th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Albums, Lists, Music.


Dave Holland Trio ◊ Triplicate
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Toxik ◊ World Circus
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

David Liebman Trio ◊ Trio + One
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Marius Popp ◊ Acordul Fin
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Infest ◊ Slave
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Julius Hemphill ◊ Julius Hemphill Big Band
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Stephen Sondheim ◊ Into the Woods [Original Broadway Cast]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mad Professor & Pato Banton ◊ Mad Professor Captures Pato Banton
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

New Model Army ◊ Radio Sessions '83-'84
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mikel Laboa ◊ Lekeitioak
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

0 comments.

1988 albums, numbers 51-60

Posted on March 5th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Albums, Lists, Music.


Missing Foundation ◊ 1933 Your House Is Mine
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sei Miguel ◊ Breaker
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

George Shearing and Hank Jones ◊ The Spirit of 176
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mão Morta ◊ Mão Morta
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Engenheiros do Hawaii ◊ Ouça o que Eu Digo: Não Ouça Ninguém
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Royal Trux ◊ Royal Trux
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anacrusis ◊ Suffering Hour
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sadus ◊ Illusions
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ultramagnetic MC’s ◊ Critical Beatdown
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Eek-a-Mouse ◊ Mouse-A-Mania
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

0 comments.

1988 albums, numbers 61-70

Posted on March 5th, 2014 by Scraps.
Categories: Albums, Lists, Music.


Bruno Wątpliwy ◊ Szał
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Phalanx ◊ In Touch
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Soul Brothers ◊ Jive Explosion
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Helen Merrill & Gil Evans ◊ Collaboration
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Pestilence ◊ Malleus Maleficarum
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

King Snake Roost ◊ Things That Play Themselves
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Geri Allen, Charlie Haden & Paul Motian ◊ Etudes
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Michelle Shocked ◊ Short Sharp Shocked
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Pere Ubu ◊ The Tenement Year
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Charles Gayle ◊ Spirits Before
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

0 comments.

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