reading report

Posted on August 31st, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Stuff.

Two days ago: finished Baum's The Sea Fairies. It ended better than it began. The first half of it was Baum's patented punning travelogue, only duller than usual. I had to look up "codfish aristocrat", for instance, and while I appreciate the education, having to look up a simple pun detracts from my enjoyment. On the other hand, the curiously philosophical happy slave, Sacho, is the best boy character apart from Button Bright in Baum.

Now I'm reading Franklin P. Adams's Tobogganing Down Parnassus. I've never read any Adams, and I collect humorists.

0 comments.

lucky

Posted on August 28th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Stuff.

I forgot something last month. (Sometimes I think every post by me should be started that way, with "month" being a variable.) I was seeing my doctor, only my regular doctor was on vacation, so I was seeing a substitute doctor. He was voluble, which was nice. When he was getting up to speed on my stroke, he whistled. "Jeez," he said, "your bleed was two by two by two a half inches. You should be dead." He looked at me. "I've seen some who had bleeds that big and survived, but not walking and talking. You are lucky."

I'm not used to being called lucky in regard to my stroke, but I guess I am.

1 comment.

the book

Posted on August 27th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Stuff.

I got myself an ipad about two weeks ago. I watched Patrick with his, and I guessed it would be good for my half-paralysis. After one day, I realized it was not good; it was superb. I now carry it with me everywhere, taking notes, look stuff up on wikipedia, and (especially) reading books.

People ask me, is it worth it? And it definitely is: for me. But I'm an one-handed person, and it's a godsend for me. In fact, I've taken to calling it "The Book", which Velma, at least, understands.

I've read, in the last few days, a complete book, my first since the stroke (I think; my memory is shot still): Right Ho, Jeeves. It's a reread -- in fact, it's my favorite Wodehouse, and I was astonished to find it's out of print [edit: I meant "out of copyright". duh] -- and so's my second read I've reading now, The Sea Fairies by L. Frank Baum.

I'm happy (as Velma implied before).

2 comments.

adventures reading a novel and wikipedia

Posted on August 26th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Stuff.

Did you know that "In New York City, (Captain) Kidd was active in the building of Trinity Church, New York"?

0 comments.

fear of dying

Posted on August 13th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Stuff, Recovery.

"Dying isn't so bad," said Roger Ebert today; "it's getting sick and dying that's the hard part." It’s true. Having a stroke has a host of bad effects (he said mildly), but curing the fear of dying is a surprising blessing. I realized, very soon after almost dying, that, for me, the memory was not there; there was no bright light, no flash of recall, nothing. There was a fall in my apartment in front of Velma, and then I woke up a week later, my memories wiped. The main memory of dying was no memory. That was immensely soothing; I told my friends, if they were worried about me, dying was easy. It took me a while to realize that it was not me dying that they were worried about. The pain of the living is what the living are worried about. Me potentially dying was sorrowful, even horrifying (because it would have happened at 44); but what about Velma, who lived through my dying in front of her? Of course my dying was (theoretically) easy. Living goes on; that’s the hard part.

0 comments.

1979: another pointless list

Posted on August 8th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Music, Albums, Lists.

I am slowly -- very slowly -- compiling a list of my favorite 999 albums from 1951 to the present, playing by the same rules as the 99 albums list (no best-of compilations, etc). I'm doing this a year at a time. This is the third shortlist, and my first post-stroke list: my 1979 top 137 (the first twenty to twenty-five will probably make the final list). This is my age fifteen list; subsequently, this is a long list.

(previous lists:
1989
1999)

1979

Henry Cow, Western Culture
Gang of Four, Entertainment!
Tin Huey, Contents Dislodged During Shipment
Talking Heads, Fear of Music
Wire, 154
Elvis Costello and the Attractions, Armed Forces
Joy Division, Unknown Pleasures
The Slits, Cut
The Clash, London Calling
Buzzcocks, Singles Going Steady
Graham Parker, Squeezing Out Sparks
The Soft Boys, A Can of Bees
The Contortions, Buy
Marianne Faithfull, Broken English
Sweeney Todd, Original Broadway Cast
Motörhead, Overkill
Linton Kwesi Johnson, Forces of Victory
The Specials, Specials
Joe Jackson, Look Sharp!
Swell Maps, A Trip to Marineville
Art Bears, Winter Songs
P-Model, In a Model Room
XTC, Drums and Wires
Univers Zero, Heresie
Tubeway Army, Replicas
This Heat, This Heat
The Desperate Bicycles, Remorse Code
Pere Ubu, New Picnic Time
The Pop Group, Y
Betty Carter, The Audience with Betty Carter
Conventum, Le bureau central des utopies
Annette Peacock, The Perfect Release
Hubert Félix Thiéfaine, Autorisation de Délirer
Poison Girls, Hex
Black Randy & the Metrosquad, "Pass the Dust, I Think I'm Bowie"
Holger Czukay, Movies
David Bowie, Lodger
The B-52's, The B-52's
Lizzy Mercier Descloux, Press Color
James Blood Ulmer, Tales of Captain Black
Nick Lowe, Labour of Lust
Godley & Creme, Freeze Frame
Patti Smith Group, Wave
Chrisma, Hibernation
The Jam, Setting Sons
ABBA, Voulez-Vouz
The Stranglers, The Raven
Supertramp, Breakfast in America
Kevin Coyne & Dagmar Krause, Babble
Spherical Objects, Eliptical Optimism
Carnascialia, Carnascialia
Fingerprinz, The Very Dab
Johnny Osbourne, Truths and Rights
Red Crayola, Soldier Talk
Hermeto Pascoal, Zabumbê-bum-á
Sam Rivers, Waves
Ras Michael & The Sons of Negus, Love Thy Neighbour
The Toms, The Toms
Essential Logic, Beat Rhythm News
Sun Ra, Sleeping Beauty
Ann Steel, Ann Steel
The Adverts, Cast of Thousands [remixed version]
Patrik Fitzgerald, Grubby Stories
Prince Far I, Cry Tuff Dub Encounter Part 2
James White and the Blacks, Off White
Bruce Woolley and The Camera Club, English Garden
Madness, One Step Beyond…
Nina Hagen Band, Unbehagen
Prince Far I, Dub to Africa
Arachnoid, Arachnoid
Moondog, A New Sound of a Old Instrument
Henry Threadgill, X-75, Vol. 1
Anthony Moore, Flying Doesn't Help
Marquis de Sade, Dantzig Twist
Fela, Unknown Soldier
The A's, The A's
Michael Jackson, Off the Wall
Sun Ra, Disco 3000
The Last, L.A. Explosion!
Earth & Stone, Kool Roots
Culture, Showcase
Doll by Doll, Remember
Yachts, Yachts
Hans-Joachim Roedelius, Selbstportrait
Renaldo & The Loaf, Play Struvé & Sneff
Art Ensemble of Chicago, Nice Guys
Magazine, Secondhand Daylight
Yellow Magic Orchestra, Solid State Survivor
The Ruts, The Crack
The Crass, Stations of the Crass
The Beat, The Beat
The Fall, Live at the Witch Trials
Fashion, Product Perfect
The Nits, Tent
Buzzcocks, A Different Kind of Tension
The Slickers, Break Through
Punishment of Luxury, Laughing Academy
The Raincoats, The Raincoats
Sam Rivers, Paragon
Siouxsie and the Banshees, Join Hands
Dave Edmunds, Repeat When Necessary
The Laughing Dogs, The Laughing Dogs
Cowboys International, The Original Sin
Keith Hudson, Nuh Skin Up Dub
Andrew Cyrille / Jeanne Lee / Jimmy Lyons, Nuba
Judie Tzuke, Welcome to the Cruise
Ma Banlieue Flasque, Ma Banlieue Flasque
Air, Air Lore
Steel Pulse, Tribute to the Martyrs
Malicorne, Le Bestiaire
Ian Dury, Do It Yourself
Fleetwood Mac, Tusk
Günter Schickert, Überfällig
Plastic People of the Universe, Jak bude po smrti
Joe Jackson, I'm the Man
Tom Verlaine, Tom Verlaine
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Damn the Torpedoes
ZZ Top, Degüello
Vortex, Les Cycles de Thanatos
Bill Nelson's Red Noise, Sound-on-Sound
Zé Ramalho, A Peleja do Diabo com o Dono do Céu
Fischer-Z, Word Salad
Honeyelk, Stoyz Vi Dozeveloy
Naná Vasconcelos, Saudades
The Romantics, The Romantics
Chuck Brown & The Soul Searchers, Bustin' Loose
Mikey Dread, Dread at the Controls
Joni Mitchell, Mingus
Dennis Brown, Words of Wisdom
Pelle Miljoona, Viimeinen syksy
The Dickies, Dawn of the Dickies
Old and New Dreams, Old and New Dreams
Thomas Leer & Robert Rental, The Bridge
Codona, Codona
Adam and the Ants, Dirk Wears White Sox
Culture, International Herb
John Stewart, Bombs Away Dream Babies

9 comments.

one of my many language weirdnesses

Posted on July 9th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Editing, Recovery.

My spelling is coming back -- that is, thoughtlessly, automatically -- but I still sometimes forget to spell "n", especially in a consonant blend. Maybe it's a "quiet" sound. I don't know why, but forgetting "n" is about half my spelling mistakes (until I look up and see it).

1 comment.

tentatively

Posted on July 6th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Badness, Recovery.

I'm probably going to write again. Probably. It's very hard now, but I'm realizing that not writing is harder; so I must. Writing is my self-definition, and even though I suck right now (don't argue, it's true by my own definition), not writing would mean I'd be a different person, and, really, I don't know how.

My thoughts are scattered still. I'm sitting here, trying to gather them. They're mostly outside my grasp.

One thing: Sometimes I am very depressed. That's going to be my favorite thing to write about. Well, not being depressed, but the specific manifestations of my stroke. I certainly don't mind if you go away.

4 comments.

"date match":old post from the well #40, 8 aug 98

Posted on April 12th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Badness, Comedy, Old Posts.

Looking for a man who "walks to a different drummer," "takes the road less traveled," and isn't afraid to say the emperor's naked, even when it isn't "politically correct." Are you my "free thinker"?

0 comments.

"i'm thinking of a movie" (old post from the well, #37, 5 oct 01)

Posted on April 5th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Comedy, Movies, Old Posts.

There are no bats in this movie.

No one sucks a potato through a straw.

Neither the best boy nor the gaffer ever worked with Trent Lott.

Astrology plays no meaningful role.

Queen Victoria expressed no known opinion regarding this film.

No vehicle of mass conveyance plunges over a cliff.

The credits were not signaled in morse code by Bill Robinson.

There is no mysterious pattern of hair loss among the cast members.

The screenwriter did not go on to a successful career in politics.

There are no scenes in courtrooms, mining pits, or abattoirs.

Nothing Pauline Kael has said is likely to change anyone's mind about this film.

If you cut this film into millimeter-wide strips and strung them all together, it would not reach the moon.

The plot does not turn on a deathbed confession about the oatmeal.

The film never made the American Legion's censorship list.

It is no more nutritious than most films. Probably less.

I don't remember whether mumblety-peg occurs, but it is of no great importance.

If the male lead were dropped on your foot, it would hurt.

It was not filmed in feel-o-rama.

You can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd.

Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is all in your head, as usual.

It is not NORMAN... IS THAT YOU?

1 comment.

old post (from the well) #33, 18 may 00

Posted on March 13th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Music, Words, Media, Comedy, Old Posts.

I am now the publisher of the Sonicnet front page every morning. So I figure I'm getting paid to not write my own headlines:

MTV IN PAYOLA SCANDAL

TOWER TO GIVE AWAY ALL MUSIC FOR FREE

ARISTA REPLACES CLIVE DAVIS WITH DRUNK STOAT

FRED DURST FLAYED

0 comments.

old post (from the well) #29, 1 apr 97

Posted on March 12th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Badness, Old Posts.

Today, just now in fact [well, nearly thirteen years ago, but anyway], I created a very impressive special effect, and I wish i hadn't. You know how corningware's supposed to be virtually unbreakable, except when it shatters spontaneously deep in the cupboard? Don't believe them. I'm housesitting for friends, and I wanted some beans and rice. Pulled out an appropriately-sized corningware pot, and went to the kitchen where the lids are propped on a wall unit. I carelessly pulled the right-sized lid, and it took the next-larger one with it; that lid crashed to the floor, and astonishingly (I wish I were in a position to admire this) crashed right through the pot I was holding. Corningware all over the kitchen floor to the atomic level. Me left holding a very sorry little corningware pot handle. Now I have to (heavy sigh) go clean it up.

And, naturally, this means that there is now a pot without a corresponding lid, and a lid without a corresponding pot. I'd worry about replacing them, but right now I DON'T GET TO HAVE ANY RICE AND BEANS.

0 comments.

old post (from the well) #28, 21 may 97

Posted on March 11th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Songs, Words, Dance, Old Posts.

Last night I dreamed that I was skipping and running cheerfully along a colorful series of ledges, rails and ropes, with a partner, improvised yet perfectly synchronized, while around us "The Candy Man" by Sammy Davis Jr played, and it was the beats and chord changes of the song that we improvised our steps to. And it all. felt. perfectly. natural.

0 comments.

where will rush go?

Posted on March 9th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Stuff, Media.

Rush Limbaugh will leave the US if health care reform is passed.

Any sane person would applaud; that was my first thought. But my second was: What country is Limbaugh going to? Most every developed country has national health care. Answer: Costa Rica.

0 comments.

old post #21, 19 aug 98

Posted on February 27th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Games, Old Posts.

The idea that "chess is relatively easy" is very recent, and very nearly postdates the crucial match. Just ten years ago, it wasn't difficult to find folks in the AI debate asserting that computers would never beat the best humans at chess.

We don't have a problem with machines being stronger or faster than us, but the idea that we can program computers to exceed our mental processes is deeply disturbing. Yet the notion that this is "impossible" is essentially mystical: it insists that there is more to human thought than the physical workings of the brain, and hence can never be artificially created.

When computers start making original contributions to philosophy, there will be folks maintaining that philosophy is relatively easy.

0 comments.

old post #19, 7 jan 02

Posted on February 23rd, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Media, Old Posts.

If advertising were as insidiously, relentlessly effective as all that, we'd all be automatons. (Ah, but how do you know you're not?) We wouldn't be so much like our parents (but who made your parents?), we wouldn't, so many of us, have very much the values of the people who raised and taught us (but who programmed them?). If advertising is so effective, why do we resist it? (Don't make me laugh.) If advertising is so effective, why can't they make us buy anything they want, regardless of quality? (You think you have your own taste, desires, free will? Get real.)

I've read The Hidden Persuaders, and I probably have more interest in what makes advertising work than is healthy for me, just as I am interested in the rhetoric of persuasive (as opposed to truthful) argument. But, with all due respect, most anti-advertising rants I read (closely related to anti-television rants) strike me as a species of conspiracy theory. If someone wants to say there are strings attached to my limbs and those of my children, I can see for myself that it's not so; a persuasive voice is not a string, and the contentiousness, irascibility, and simple desire to please one's own self will continue to confound and frustrate sellers with nothing good to sell, no matter how sneaky they are.

And I've never met an adult where you couldn't guess a lot more about their parents, schooling, and religious upbringing than what television they watched and what advertising they were exposed to.

0 comments.

further lies about brad jones (old post #16, jan 98-jun 02)

Posted on February 19th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Untruths, Old Posts.

Brad Jones solved the Trees of Mystery.

You know that creepy feeling that someone's looking at you in the dark? Brad Jones.

Brad Jones is both singular and plural.

Brad Jones disdains the title "producer," preferring to be listed as "mystic wagga."

The Tufted Bean-Warblers have declined to offer arbitration to Brad Jones.

Brad Jones Swallows return to Pensacola every year around Christmas break to party and crap all over everything.

Give Brad Jones a fish and you've fed him for a day. Teach Brad Jones to fish and you're rid of him forever.

The correct plural of Brad Jone is actually Brad Jona.

Brad Jones keeps losing his lab assistants because he insists upon referring to them as "my amanuensis."

Whenever Brad Jones sees Counting Crows on tv his eyes get big and he yells "It's Doctor Jones! Doctor Jones!" until someone changes the channel and he subsides, muttering.

Brad Jones pronounces "infrared" to rhyme with "dared”, to the confusion of his students, readers, subscribers, followers, sidekicks, lackeys, and heirs and assigns.

Teaching Brad Jones is now optional in Kansas. Scientists worry that this will result in Brad Jones growing up pig-ignorant.

You know that really annoying conductor on the 1 train with the same "clever" patter every day? Brad Jones.

63% of Americans can't distinguish between Brad Jones and New Lemon Pledge.

Can you imagine Thursday nights on NBC without Brad Jones? You can't.

Brad Jones has had to be legally enjoined from walking up to small children and informing them grimly that there is no itsy-bitsy spider.

Brad Jones could have had a decent career in competitive jacks had he been able to say "sixies" without loss of muscular coordination.

Brad Jones is a card-carrying card-carrier.

Brad Jones didn't mean to rain on your parade. He can't help it; he's a low-pressure air mass sweeping down from Canada.

Brad Jones's given name is not Bradley; it is just Brad. However, his surname is actually Jonesley.

Have you heard Brad Jones sing the high notes in "Witchy Woman"? Not unless you're a dog.

Brad Jones isn't talking. He is, however, emitting a seemingly organized series of squawks and beeps that experts are attempting to crack.

"Adapt and improve," says Brad Jones, with clenched teeth and jaws.

Sometimes Brad Jones stops dead in the middle of the street and cries out "Christ! what an imagination I've got!"

0 comments.

quotable ebert

Posted on February 18th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Movies.

"This early in the film, we're still asking such logical questions. Later, the despair sets in."

--review of Buddy Buddy

0 comments.

more lies about brad jones (old post #15, jun-jul 97)

Posted on February 17th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Stuff, Untruths, Old Posts.

Brad Jones rips the veil from the nun inside you.

Brad Jones offers a free lunch to all Libertarians.

Brad Jones could feed a family of five for weeks if they'd goddam sit still.

Brad Jones feels chummy today. Look out here he comes!

Brad Jones is demeaning to grubby inconsequential people who smell bad.

Brad Jones conquered half of Europe, but gave it back when a sad little girl cried for Andorra.

There is no "Brad Jones" in "teamwork."

Brad Jones had his Hidden Daffies surgically removed by Dr. Zizmor's Laser of Love.

Round up Brad Jones.

Brad Jones continued his diligent work on the four color mop problem.

Brad Jones has had it with everyone trying to keep up with him.

"Brad" is short for "Hmmmmmmm-brad."

You know how sometimes this topic shows you nothing new for a whole day through several passes, then suddenly it has a dozen messages going back several hours? Brad Jones.

Brad Jones sits in front of a set tuned to SCANALYZER orbiting on triptine and saying over and over "Christ what an imagination I've got!"

Play it, Sam. Play "Brad Jones."

0 comments.

lies about brad jones (old post #14, jan-jun 97)

Posted on February 15th, 2010 by Scraps.
Categories: Words, Comedy, Untruths, Old Posts.

Brad Jones was actually born Brad Bowie, but changed his name to avoid confusion with Brad Buoy, the inventor of the liferaft.

Brad Jones is feared in seven languages.

Brad Jones is responsible for all ska band names. He is still looking for bands willing to shoulder the names "Ska of the Antarctic," "The Skashank Redemption," and "F. Ska Fitzgerald."

A careless whisper of "Brad Jones" in the wrong alley could lead to the death of innocents.

Brad Jones will be down from 5 to 6AM for routine maintenance, following which it will no longer be permissible to disturb his routine.

If Brad Jones had been born a girl, his parents were going to name him Cleopatra.

Brad Jones plays without a cup. His opponents think it just makes him scarier.

If Brad Jones were granted three wishes, he'd wish for three more, but only three, because hey, be reasonable.

Remember that to Brad Jones and his people, a smile is an expression of hostility. If you wish to express your affection for Brad Jones, rub the top of his head.

If Brad Jones could only tell stories, the stories he could tell.

Brad Jones shot the sixth, seventh, and eighth Beatles.

Brad Jones is my brother, yet he's heavy.

In time, everything will be true of Brad Jones.

0 comments.

Older »

Don't you miss it-- don't you miss it-- Some of you people just about missed it.

- Talking Heads